Monthly Archives: May 2013

Legacy and all that

It’s decision time, as I write, for the IOC. There’s a bunch of sports that want in the Olympics. There’s a bunch more don’t want to be kicked out. And, following a decision-making process that’s as transparent as a rail franchise award, the IOC are set to deliver their verdict. In the running are such […]

Why I “marched” against Monsanto

On Saturday I did something that by my recent standards is pretty radical. I didn’t stone a policeman. I didn’t burn down a mosque or a church or the Houses of Parliament. I – wait for it – I changed my Facebook profile photo. And my banner. Just for the day, mind, I didn’t want […]

Hey Diddle Diddle

Hey diddle diddle MPs on the fiddle, The press were over the moon. The Telegraph roared To see such fraud, They’d always hated Geoff Hoon. But hey nonny nonny Some dark telephony Brought public pressure to bear. The press were appalled When Leveson called For something to make them play fair. After much barter They […]

The noble hawk

A recent conversation on Facebook with an old friend got me thinking about that most maligned of political beasts. The one we blame for all the world’s ills (sit down at the back, Dawkins, we’re not talking about religion this time). The one whose world-view seems totally incomprehensible and whose extinction would surely usher in […]

Here will be the news. Maybe.

Look at this*, will you? It’s short enough anyway, but the key bit is this: The home secretary was expected to say in a speech later she wanted the body that oversees sentencing to ensure police killers were never released. But a spokesman for the council said murder was the only offence for which it […]

Michael Gove was a Merry Old Cove

Michael Gove was a merry old cove A merry old cove was he, He called for a change to curricula, And he pissed off the NUT. Every little thing that the Govenor did Made him look even more of a clown, Like a mint spent on gilt-edged bibles For schools that were falling down. “Sport” […]

Rebranding the BNP

Ah, the BNP. The good old British National Party. And Nick Griffin. Poor old Nick. Things aren’t going so well for Nick, I’m afraid, not like they used to, back when he could get himself booked on Question Time and win council seats by the score as the protest vote of choice. But no longer. […]


News broke last night that our local MP had been arrested. I’m not going to go into the details here; you can look it up if you want to, I doubt many MPs were arrested last night, although I’m sure many of you think more should have been. I’ve met him before, I know his […]

Home by Christmas

There are some things that just aren’t worth saying. The hurricane isn’t on its way. Go back to your constituencies and prepare for Government. In everyday life it’s OK to make mistakes, to predict things and be so wide of the mark you might as well be rolling a dice. No one’s going to remember; […]

News Limerick of the Day

This woman struggled with parking, While this one hit someone in Barking. There were fists in Nepal, There was bad Stuart Hall, And the Masterchef champ won’t be Larkin (Links go to the stories on the BBC, and yes, I know that last one’s a prediction, but half the news is made up anyway, right?) […]