Category satire

Press Baron Bingo!

Let’s play – PRESS BARON BINGO! Every time you hear one of the lies below, simply cross out the box. When you’ve got the lot, just comment below! Extra marks for getting them all from the same source – Roger Alton from The Times is off to a cracking start! The press weren’t consulted The […]

“If” (Daily Mail version)

If you can pick on Ed, when all around you Are at the Tory conference writing wittily on Dave, If the simplest of ideas, like “truth”, confound you, If nineteenth-century England is what you really crave, If you can lie and not be tired by lying, Or crashing some memorial, like the classy folk you […]

Vincent Cablepots

The Grumpy Prat (with apologies to TS Eliot, and Jennyanydots, the original Gumbie Cat). I have a Grumpy Prat in mind, his name is Vincent Cablepots. His forehead’s always rather lined, through cutting through financial knots. All day he sits and writes and talks and passes time and chews the fat; He spouts and spouts […]

Nick Clegg and satire – a disclaimer

What is a blogger? I write about all kinds of things on here. The main focus tends to be finance and domestic (UK) politics, but there have been plenty of other subjects, too: TV, sport, protests, even science. When I write a (prose) paragraph or nine about something in the world of politics or finance, […]

Yes, I remember Kenneth Clarke

(With apologies to Edward Thomas, and in gratitude for Adlestrop ). Yes, I remember Kenneth Clarke — The name, because when there were none Of note and few who shone he shone Remarkably. He was alone. The party hissed. Someone cleared his throat And muttered “left” and “Europe”, Tore down his platform. What remained Was […]

Cleggicated polisher of bullshit

They seek him here They seek him there His furrowed brow His perfect hair Eagerly pursuing every single desperate vote, He’s a Cleggicated polisher of bullshit. He seemed so fresh, He’s let us down. There’s no mystique, He’s just a clown. “I agree with Nick” they said But now they point and laugh, He’s a […]

Ozymandius and the NHS

  I met a traveller from a once-great land Who said: Two vast and roofless wings of brick Stand by the car park. There too, close at hand, Twisted, a broken gurney bears no sick, And shattered screens, machines once at command, Of masters learned in needle and knife, And arrows, symbols, “X-Ray”, “MRI”, The […]

New Stuff – “Best of” and “Poems and Sketches”

A quick one today. I’ve updated the blog so that as well as buttons for “About” and the novel, “Without Due Care”, there are two new options. There’s “best of”, which is pretty self-explanatory; selected by me, after hours of staring at the screen and muttering “did I really write that?”, with no proper criteria […]

Ed Miliband – The Mystery Cat

Ed Miliband’s a heavyweight: he’s Labour’s Number One, He’s the chap the unions backed, so he’s the chap that won. He’ll terrify the Tories with a sideways grin and glare – But when you look for something more – Ed Miliband’s not there! Ed Miliband, Ed Miliband, there’s no one like Ed Miliband, He’s cleverer […]

Hey Diddle Diddle

Hey diddle diddle MPs on the fiddle, The press were over the moon. The Telegraph roared To see such fraud, They’d always hated Geoff Hoon. But hey nonny nonny Some dark telephony Brought public pressure to bear. The press were appalled When Leveson called For something to make them play fair. After much barter They […]